Forgiveness

1. Forgiveness simply means you accept the person as he is, you still love him the way he is. Forgiveness means that you don’t judge him, that you are non-judgmental. But ordinarily we think forgiveness means you know that he has done wrong, still you forgive him. First you judge and then you forgive. Your forgiveness is false. Real forgiveness has no judgment. It never says, “No, you have done wrong, but still I forgive you.” It simply accepts the person as he is. There is no grudge, no complaint, no grumbling. There is no question really of forgiving because there is no anger in the first place.
2. I am not teaching you a religion. I simply want to tell you the truth. If you have done something wrong, go to the person. Be humble, ask his forgiveness. Only he can forgive you, nobody else — neither the Ganges nor God. And remember, that is the meaning of the word “sin”: forgetfulness. So now, don’t forget again and do the same; otherwise, your asking forgiveness becomes meaningless. Now be careful, be alert, be conscious; and don’t do the same thing again. That is true repentance. Once you made the mistake — it was just a mistake. To err is human, there is nothing to be worried about.
3. To forgive is divine, so if somebody comes to you and says that he has committed a mistake against you, don’t miss the opportunity of tasting something of the divine. Or, when you have committed some mistake and you go to somebody else to be forgiven, you are giving him a great chance to have some taste of the divine. It is good for both of you. By forgiving, he tastes something which is impossible to explain; it can only be called divine, godliness. And you also will feel something tremendously beautiful: humbleness, egolessness. But remember not to commit the mistake again. It should become a decision in you; then you are really repentant. It has nothing to do with God, it has nothing to do with any priest; it has something to do with your own psychology.
4. In other religions, Jainism, Buddhism, there is no God — and it is good that there is no God. Nobody can forgive, so there is no question of forgiveness. These religions are more scientific. Every action will have its reaction, nobody can prevent it. You put your hand in the fire and you will be burnt. No God can prevent it. You rape a woman and you will suffer a deep wound of guilt. You may go mad, but you will have to suffer. Only suffering will cleanse you, not forgiveness.
5. Christianity has a tremendously beautiful concept of forgiveness. Christianity says: If you ask to be forgiven from your deepest core, you will be forgiven. Why? Is there somebody who can forgive you?, No, but if you ask in intense passion to be forgiven, the very idea of repentance becomes forgiveness. If you have really asked, realized that you have done something wrong; if it has been a total realization and you accept the responsibility that it was wrong and that you are ready to repent for it, and you repent wholeheartedly, the very repentance becomes the forgiveness. Then there is no need to do anything else, because all sins are nothing but unconscious acts. Repentance makes you conscious, alert. Sin is like darkness. You bring a light, a lamp into darkness and darkness disappears. Sin is because you are asleep. If you repent, you awake yourself. Because there is no other way to repent unless you awake yourself.
6. You have many times asked forgiveness, but again and again you go on doing the same thing. That simply shows that it was a policy, a politics, a trick to manipulate people — but you have remained the same, you have not changed at all. If you have really asked forgiveness for your anger or any offence against anybody, then it should not happen again. Only that can be a proof that you are really on the path of changing yourself.
7. People ordinarily think that forgiveness is for those who are worthy of it, who deserve it. But if somebody deserves, is worthy of forgiveness, it is not much of a forgiveness. You are not doing anything on your part; he deserves it. You are not really being love and compassion. Your forgiveness will be authentic only when even those who don’t deserve it receive it.
8. I can forgive the whole world for the simple reason that my forgiveness is absolute; it is nonjudgmental.
9. In fact I would like to make the statement that the man who is unworthy deserves more than the man who is worthy. The man who does not deserve, deserves more, because he is so poor; don’t be hard upon him. Life has been hard upon him. He has gone astray; he has suffered because of his wrong doings. Now don’t you be hard on him. He needs more love than those who are deserving; he needs more forgiveness than those who are worthy. This should be the only approach of a religious heart.
10. Rejoice that the god of love is your judge. That is the greatest hope for man. Otherwise man commits so many errors: if God is only a cold judge then there is no hope. God is in passionate love with his existence, hence immense forgiveness goes on flowing from him. He comes like a flood and takes all your sins and errors and mistakes away. The moment he starts pouring on you, showering on you, you are cleansed of all dirt, of all dust.
11. The question is not whether anybody is worthy or not. The question is whether you have the consciousness, the abundance of love — then forgiveness will come out of it spontaneously. It is not a calculation, it is not arithmetic. Life is love, and living a life of love is the only religious life, the only life of prayer, peace, the only life of gratitude, grandeur, splendor.
12. The Sanskrit word KSHAMA does not mean repenting faults. KSHAMA means forgiving, forgiving others and forgiving yourself too — forgiving because you were unconscious and others are unconscious. This forgiveness will bring some awareness to you.
13. Compassion is always there, because we come from this source. This source is our mother, God is our mother. If God cannot forgive you, then who will forgive? If this existence cannot forgive you, who will forgive? Forgiveness is possible; that is the great message that Christ brings to the world. Every Messiah brings a special message, a unique message. This is Christ’s special message.
14. You are buddhas still astray, still wandering here and there. Still you have not gathered the courage to come back to the father and ask his forgiveness. You don’t trust. You don’t trust the father that he will accept you. You don’t accept yourself; how can you think that the father is going to accept you? You condemn yourself; how can you think that the whole is going to take you into its bosom, into its very heart? Trust. Come back home. You have traveled enough, suffered enough — it was necessary, but don’t prolong it too much. The problem is: if one remains in suffering too long one becomes attuned to it, it becomes a habit. One starts enjoying it, one starts clinging to it. Religion is nothing but an effort to help you come back home.
15. It is human to err, and it is more human to forgive. I will not say it is divine to forgive. That is making forgiveness a superiority.
16. There is an old proverb: “To err is human and to forgive is divine.” I don’t agree. To err is human and to forgive is also human. To forgive is divine? — then you are raising it too high, beyond human reach. Bring it within human reach and learn to forgive. Learn to enjoy forgiveness, learn to ask for an apology; you don’t lose anything when you can say to your woman, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
17. If you really feel that anger was wrong, then forget about the past. .Now whenever anger is there, remain alert. That is real repentance. Remain alert. I’m not saying don’t ask people’s forgiveness. Ask — but not in repentance. Not for anger but for your unawareness. Can you see the distinction? If you have been angry, go to the person and say ‘I have been unaware. I behaved like a fool, a drunkard. I was unconscious, drugged. I have done something but I was not there’. Ask forgiveness for your unawareness, not for your anger. And remember the real problem is not anger. The real problem is unawareness. So next time be more aware. Whether it is anger, hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, a thousand and one things are there… but the real disease is one — unawareness.
18. Love knows how to forgive. Not only does one have to forgive others, one has to forgive oneself too, and that is the harder thing because we have been taught to feel guilty; we are burdened by guilt. A burdened man cannot grow and one who feels guilty feels always sick; he does not allow his wounds to heal. So I teach you to forgive others, but even more to forgive yourself. Out of that forgiveness, a great love for yourself will arise. The condemnation will disappear; you will not look at yourself as if you are something horrible. And with that forgiveness of yourself all the so-called saints and churches will disappear from your consciousness. They exist through your wounds. If you are ill and sick they are relevant; if you are healthy, whole, they have no relevance. Hence they have great investment in keeping you feeling guilty.