Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

1. One day, Mulla Nasruddin was walking with a very big stick which was too long for him. One friend suggested, "Nasruddin, why don't you cut a few inches off from the bottom?"
   Nasruddin said, "That would not help -- because it is this end that is long."
    
2. Mulla Nasruddin once applied for a job. In the application he mentioned many qualifications. He said, "I stood first in my university, and I was offered the vice-presidency of a national bank. I refused because I am not interested in money. I am an honest man, a true man. I have no greed, I'm not bothered about the salary; whatsoever you give me will be okay. And I love work -- sixty-five hours per week."
   
   When the superintendent who was conducting his interview looked at his application, he was surprised and said, "Lordy! Don't you have any weaknesses?"
   Nasruddin said, "Only one: I am a liar!"
    
3. Mulla Nasruddin's wife drags him to a movie house. And in the picture which is shown the hero hugs and kisses the heroine so gracefully, so sweetly, that immediately Mulla Nasruddin's wife turns to him and says, "You never do that to me."
   
   Mulla Nasruddin said, "You don't understand -- he is paid. Am I paid?"
   
   But the wife was also a rare personality. She said, "Paid or not paid, you don't know that in real life also they are husband and wife."
   
   Mulla said, "My god! If in real life also they are husband and wife, then he is a great actor. I can certify that he is a great actor."
    
4. A similar story is told about Mulla Nasruddin, but juicier. The ticket collector comes, and Mulla Nasruddin looks into everything -- his bags, his pockets. The ticket collector is standing there and he says, "You have looked in every pocket, but you don't look in the left-side pocket of your coat."
   Mulla Nasruddin said, "Don't interfere in my work. Never mention that pocket!"
   
   He said, "You are strange. I am simply helping you because you cannot find the ticket. Perhaps... why are you leaving out that pocket?"
   Mulla Nasruddin said, "That is my only hope. If the ticket is not in the left pocket, I am finished. So first I will look into everything else. Only as the last resort may I touch that pocket. That is my last hope, don't destroy it."
    
5. Mulla Nasruddin killed his wife and then there was a case in the court. The judge said to Nasruddin, 'Nasruddin, you go on insisting again and again that you are a peaceloving man. What type of peaceloving man are you? You killed your wife!'
   Nasruddin said, 'Yes, I repeat again that I am a peaceloving man. You don't know: when I killed my wife such peace descended on her face, and for the first time in my house there was peace all over. And I still insist that I am a peaceloving man.'
    
6. Mulla Nasruddin had become ninety-nine years old, and a reporter from a local newspaper came to interview him because he was the oldest man in the valley. After the interview the reporter said, "I hope that I will be able to come next year also when you have attained the hundred, when you have completed your hundred years. I hope I will be able to come." Mulla Nasruddin looked at the man wide-eyed and said, "Why not, young fellow? You look healthy enough to me!"
    
7. Mulla Nasruddin's twenty-fifth wedding anniversary came, and he was going out of his house that day. His wife felt a little peeved, because she was expecting he would do something and he was just moving in a routine way. So she asked, "Nasruddin, have you forgotten what day it is?"
   Nasruddin said, "I know."
   Then she said, "Then do something unusual!"
   Nasrudin thought and said, "How about two minutes of silence?"
    
8. Mulla Nasruddin came to see me. He hailed a taxi, entered it and said, "Driver, take me to Osho Commune."
   The driver came out of the car very much annoyed because the taxi was standing before 17, Koregaon Park.
   He opened the door and said to Mulla Nasruddin, "Fellow, we have reached the Commune. Come out!"
   Nasruddin said, "Okay, but don't drive so fast next time."
    
9. Mulla Nasruddin was playing cards with his dog. A man looked, he was surprised -- the dog was really playing. So he said to Nasruddin, "Nasruddin, you really have a strange and wise dog."
   Nasruddin said, "Not so -- he is not so wise as he appears, because whenever he gets a good hand he wags his tail. Not so wise as he looks!"