Feeling stressed? Pouring out your feelings to a friend is 'the worst thing you can do'

By Daily Mail Reporter

Last updated at 2:35 PM on 14th July 2011

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There are days that leave the best of us feeling worn out and stressed.
But venting your frustrations is the worst thing you can do, according to scientists.
Instead, it is better to 'positively appraise' the cause of your stress with acceptance and humour as these are the most effective coping strategies for people dealing with failures.

Negative appraisal: Venting your frustrations when stressed is the worst thing you can do, according to scientists

Researchers from the University of Kent had 149 students keep a diary for between three to 14 days.
Each day, the students detailed their most bothersome failure, the strategies they used to cope with the failure and how they felt at the end of the day.
Their coping strategies included using emotional or instrumental support; self-distraction; denial; religion; venting; substance use; self-blame; and behavioural disengagement.

 

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Of these, using social support; denial; venting; behavioural disengagement; and self-blame coping had negative effects on satisfaction at the end of the day.
The more students used these coping strategies in dealing with the day's most bothersome failure, the less satisfied they felt.
In contrast, positive reframing or trying to see things in a more positive light; acceptance and humour coping had positive effects on satisfaction.
The more students used these coping strategies in dealing with failures, the more satisfied they felt at the end of the day.

'It's no use ruminating about small failures and setbacks and drag yourself further down'

Lead researcher Dr Joachim Stoeber believes that the findings will be of significant interest to clinicians, counsellors and anyone working on stress research.
He said: 'The finding that positive reframing was helpful for students high in perfectionist concerns is particularly important because it suggests that even people high in perfectionist concerns, who have a tendency to be dissatisfied no matter what they achieve, are able to experience high levels of satisfaction if they use positive reframing coping when dealing with perceived failures.'
He added that a helpful recommendation for anyone trying to cope would be to try to find positive aspects in the outcomes they regard as 'failures', and reframe these outcomes in a more positive way - for example, by focusing on what has been achieved, rather than on what has not been achieved.
'It's no use ruminating about small failures and setbacks and drag yourself further down,' he said.
'Instead it is more helpful to try to accept what happened, look for positive aspects and - if it is a small thing - have a laugh about it.'
The study is published in the journal Anxiety, Stress & Coping.